Being in Love and Going on Dates in Dreams
A: Hey! I’m Amelia!
C: I’m Cecilia! This is 1800Dreamzz!
A: That’s Dreamzz with two zz’s.
C: Happy belated Galentine’s Day and happy Valentine’s Day, my friend! Do you celebrate either holiday?
A: I do, also very excited to celebrate February 13 because it is the exact date of my Saturn return and Mardi Gras is February 16 *riff riff* What about yourself?
C: *riff riff* This goes into our episode for today - we thought it would be fun to talk about the symbolism of Valentine’s Day and how it shows up in dreams.
A: But before we do that we want to be sure and thank all of those who have joined our patreon or have tipped us at Buy Me a Coffee.
C: Amelia and I are dedicated to providing you with information on dreams and sleep, and you help us keep the lights on!
A: To help us out, you can become a monthly donor of our patreon for as little as $3 a month.
C: Or if you’d rather just tip us whenever you’ve got a little extra cash, you can head to Buy Me a Coffee.
A: Both of these links are available in the show notes!
C: So! Romance! Cheesy romantic gestures!
A: T’is the season!
C: What’s the cheesiest gift you have received for Valentine’s Day or otherwise?
A: I think I got a fake rose with a little bear on it from one of those Valentine’s sales at school. Boring! But! One year my high school did a thing where you took a quiz and to see your compatibility with your classmates - like you got a ranked list of your top 10 most romantically compatible classmates, and then you saw what your rank was on their list too. *riff riff* What about you, Cecilia?
C: *riff riff* So what are we covering today exactly?
A: Well. A few things. I thought we could talk about some of Valentine’s Day symbols as well as cheesy presents and what they mean in dreams. So many of the symbols associated with Valentine’s Day have the same symbology in our dreams. Cecilia, what shape do you most associate with Valentine’s Day?
C: An isosceles triangle!
A: Ah yes the highly romantic isosceles triangle. My two sides have an equal length. Of love for you.
C: Fourth grade math jokes! Put that on a Valentine’s Day card. Okay but we’re talking about hearts.
A: We are! So according to Medieval literature professor, Eric Jager (not to be confused with my brother’s friend who is a firefighter),
C: Thank you for clarifying.
A: the association with hearts and love goes all the way back to the 13th or 14th century. He says, “As the idea of romantic love began to take shape during the medieval period, so did the symbolism” with love and hearts.
C: Was romantic love not a thing before the 13th or 14th century in Western Europe?
A: I guarantee there was but then the Dark Ages had to ruin any sort of romance and delete any information alluding to romance from peoples before them.
C: *riff riff* so what happened?
A: Well an Italian by the name of Francesco Barberino wrote a didactic poem entitled Documenti d’amore, or Love Documents, in the 14th century.
C: This sounds very romantic. What is a didactic poem?
A: I had to look that one up - the Poetry Foundation says didactic poetry is “Poetry that instructs, either in terms of morals or by providing knowledge of philosophy, religion, arts, science, or skills. Although some poets believe that all poetry is inherently instructional, didactic poetry separately refers to poems that contain a clear moral or message or purpose to convey to its readers. John Milton's epic Paradise Lost and Alexander Pope's An Essay on Man are famous examples.”
C: For all of you lovers of poetry! What was Signore Barberino trying to instruct people on?
A: I’m not entirely sure, but, the article goes on, “one of its illustrations — depicting a naked cupid standing on the back of a galloping horse throwing arrows and roses at bystanders — included hearts. Shortly after its publication, the scalloped heart began appearing in other works of visual art and in tapestries.”
C: *riff riff* so what does the heart shape mean in a dream?
A: According to Dream Moods, “To see your heart in your dream signifies truth, courage, love, and romance. It is representative of how you are currently dealing with your feelings and expressing your emotions. Also consider the saying "the heart of the matter" which implies that you may need to get down to the core of a situation before proceeding.”
C: *riff riff* Okay this isn’t totally Valentine’s, but what about a human heart?
A: Dream Dictionary says, “to dream of a human heart represents your ability to care for or love other people. It may also reflect unconditional love or understanding.”
C: *riff riff* Now back to Cupid - what’s the symbolism behind the baby?
A: So in Roman mythology, Cupid is the son of Venus, the goddess of love and beauty, and Mars, the god of war. Cupid himself represents attraction as well as erotic love. In fact, his Greek counterpart is Eros, which is where we get erotic!
C: *riff riff* that’s so weird he shows up as a little baby! Now as far as dreams, I’m assuming it just refers to falling in love?
A: Exactly. Dream glossary has a pretty hilarious definition - do you want to read it?
C: Yes!! “Dreaming of Cupid is a sign that your love is two-faced. You are probably unsure of your partner and you keep asking yourself if they are honest with you. It is possible that you are doubting their fidelity, or reasons for being with you. Even though that is tormenting you, you don’t have the courage to ask them anything, because you know they wouldn’t react well. It sometimes seems to you like they consider you a faithful and honest person, but they like a different type of lover. You are scared that they only see stability in you, a person who they could have a family with and show them to their friends and family.”
A: Y’all need to go to their page to learn more - they have every possible social interaction with Cupid in dreams including what it means to talk to cupid, to kiss cupid, to have an argument with cupid, for someone else to have an argument with Cupid, of a dressed cupid, the list goes on.
C: That’s a hoot. What about gifts we traditionally give and receive on Valentine’s Day. Let’s start with chocolate!
A: My favorite! The Mayans are the first peoples to associate chocolate with love. According to an article by Mental Floss, the Mayans started brewing cocoa beans around 500 BCE, and this hot chocolate drink was part of wedding rituals.
C: I knew that the Mayans were the first to use chocolate, I did not realize their association with love! Chocolates are supposed to be an aphrodisiac, right?
A: That’s what I thought. “According to legend, the emperor Montezuma II binged huge quantities of cocoa beans to fuel his romantic affairs. Chocolate does contain small amounts of tryptophan and phenylethylamine, two chemicals associated with feelings of love and desire, but scientists say there isn't enough of either substance to make chocolate a strong aphrodisiac.”
C: *riff riff* And yet, it persists to this day as a gift for romance! What does it mean in a dream?
A: Dream Astro Meanings says, “Chocolate is a symbol of love, happiness, relaxation, joy, optimism, and good times. Dreams about chocolate often indicate indulging yourself in reality. Because of the luring nature of chocolate itself, and the inability of most people to resist its charms, dreams about chocolate could indicate temptations, greediness, lust, desires, etc.
C: These pearls are clutched!
A: I love this from Aunty Flo: “If you ate chocolate in the dream in any form, then you are wishing to relax and indulge in the waking world. If you ate white chocolate in the dream, then you are afraid to let yourself have everything you deserve in life.”
C: *riff riff* What about teddy bears?
A: There’s a bit of sordid history surrounding teddy bears!
C: Oooh a stuffed scandal!
A: Yes, so a lot of us Americans are familiar with the idea that Teddy bears were created in relation to President Teddy Roosevelt.
C: Right, that was my understanding.
A: Me too! I hit up the National Park Service (hit-it-up) that said in November of 1902, the president was on a bear hunting trip in Mississippi, and towards the end of the trip, everyone had gotten a bear except Teddy. So his friends caught a bear and tied it up for Roosevelt to shoot, but he thought that was “unsportsmanlike”
C: Yeah it’s hard to walk softly with a big stick when the bear is already tied up.
A: Exactly! So word got around about this story, when political cartoonist Clifford Berryman chose to quote “lightheartedly satirize” the anecdote in a cartoon. Well then a candy shop owner in Brooklyn, who also made stuffed toys with his wife, saw the cartoon and made “Teddy’s bear” for Roosevelt. And the rest is history.
C: So where’s the scandal?
A: There was a stuffed bear being created simultaneously in Germany!
C: Calling Olivia Pope!!
A: She’s gonna fix this mess! So there was a toymaker by the name of Richard Steiff. His wikipedia page says, “he entered his aunt Margarete Steiff's toymaking enterprise in 1897. (she seems like a super interesting lady, btw). While attending the School of Arts and Crafts (Kunstgewerbeschule) in Stuttgart, he would regularly visit the nearby zoo and spend much of his time drawing the residents of the bear enclosure. His sketches of the bears were incorporated into the prototype of the toy bear he created in 1902 and codenamed Steiff Bär 55 (fünfundfünfzig) PB and they sold 12,000 at the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis, MO.
C: So it seems like the German toymaker actually made it first. Did he also call them teddy bears?
A: See that’s where I’m also confused, I wonder if when they boomed in popularity in the US under the name teddy bear, that’s how they named it? I don’t know.
C: So what’s the reason, they’re given on Valentine’s Day?
A: I was reading an article from Vox that said, “According to psychologists, comfort objects (like blankets, loveys, stuffed animals, etc.) are a common coping mechanism for children, something they cling to as they begin to move around the world in more meaningful ways.”
C: So they’re supposed to make you feel all cozy and safe as kids, and that is the same idea for presenting one as a gift for Valentine’s Day?
A: I think that’s it!
C: So what do they mean in dreams?
A: Female First says that If you dream about a teddy bear- it may represent emotional dependency.
A: Yes! On the other hand, they say that “Teddy bears also signify regression to an earlier stage of your life. If you have found it difficult to move past something that happened in your life at a certain time- perhaps you feel stuck and unable to move on. It generally pertains to childhood- as this has associations with toys”
C: That ties back to our children in dreams episode from last week! Okay, we know for some people that It’s not a traditional Valentine’s Day without a bouquet of red roses!
A: It’s not! An article from the Washington Post says, “roses have long been a symbol of love, sex and beauty, with soft petals and a scent that must have seemed outrageously sweet in the old days of open sewers, infrequent showers and no deodorant. When the prudish Victorians began using bouquets of flowers to telegraph their feelings to loved ones in a messaging system known as “floriography,” roses were cemented as a symbol of romantic affection.”
C: Those Victorians, man. *riff riff*
A: I know! This article is linked in the show notes, but like with all of your purchases, consider not purchasing roses for Valentine’s Day - they say that “Mega farms in South America mostly employ women, often for long hours and low pay, including unpaid overtime. Some have been accused of using child labor. The work can result in repetitive stress injuries and exposure to pesticides and herbicides, including known carcinogens.”
C: *riff riff* Yikes, well on that happy note, what do roses symbolize in dreams?
A: Globe Views says the “Rose is a symbol of success in love affairs. A more accurate interpretation of this image in the dream depends on the appearance of the flowers. So it is advisable to remember the details of a dream, because even a small thing can greatly change the prediction.”
C: Nobody wants a wilted bouquet in their real life or in dreams.
A: No they do not! I’ve got some extra definitions from Dream Meaning, including withering roses: They say “Dreaming about a dying or withering rose, foretells bad luck or illness might strike you or a family member. The dead roses portend to pain and loss in terms of relationship and love.
C: Well that’s not surprising, but also depressing. When is it good luck to see roses?
A: Well, “A rose bush in the dream signifies prosperity. However, prosperity will have its flaws and risks, tread carefully when it is time to harvest your rewards.”
C: *riff riff* don’t prick yourself!
A: Which leads me to “Dreaming about rose thorns or getting pricked by one suggests that you are having difficulties or issues in your personal relationship. Perhaps you are not handling certain people with care. And you are having a hard time overcoming prickly situations that will hurt everyone.”
C: *riff riff*
A: This part is not a dream but one time but it’s related to roses, a friend of mine got a very long love note from a classmate that ended with “Cleave not my heart with the double edged sword of love. P.S. Your hair (my friend had recently dyed it) looks like a black rose - so beautiful and yet, foreboding.”
C: *riff riff* What about going on a date in a dream?
A: Aunty Flo says, “If in your dream you are on a date with a child, or with your husband or wife, the situation you must confront in your life can be connected to commitments, promises, responsibilities and relationships.
C: who is going on a date with a child? Again, please go back and listen to our episode about children in dreams. What about people who we are not related to?
A: If your date is with many people, this situation is complex and difficult, with multiple onset choices.
C: What is this polygamous dream date? *riff riff*
A: Dating a stranger tells you that the situation in your life is uncertain, baffling, and you need to be cautious.
C: Okay is there anything about going on a date with your love interest or boss or Tessa Thompson?
A: Aunty Flo says, “If you dream that you are going out on a date with somebody, it generally means you have deep emotions that you need to be able to explore. If the date is particularly pleasant, it indicates that you are going to have a new adventure in a romantic relationship in the future. Communication is important for this relationship’s survival.
C: *riff riff* We are not mind readers!
A: To see others on a date represents loneliness.
C: Oh God how sad to see other people go on a date in dreams.
A: A dream date suggests that you need to be able to go out and have fun.
C: I think we could all use a little of that.
A: It foretells the emergence of new aspects or events, changes, and the need to confront a situation directly. Having a dream about dating a woman represents something emotional and psychic rather than physical. A date with a man tells you that the situation is more physical and work related; it addresses your profession and the courage to face direct danger.
A & C: *riff riff*
C: Stick around for part 2, Pillow Talk! The part where we talk about YOUR specific dreams.
Part 2: Pillow Talk
A: You can also head to our website and directly submit into our form. And if you’re a monthly member of our patreon, your dream submission gets put to the top of the list!
C: This comes from a listener who writes, “My dream took place at some nondescript home. My wife and I had decided we were going to participate in an orgy or a swingers party. Things start to progress and we all head into the bedroom and begin to engage in foreplay. But, right as all the action was about to start, my wife looks at me and tells me I need to take care of something immediately. What she had me taking care of was something super mundane like taking out the garbage or loading the dishwasher. And while I'm gone, my wife is just having all of the attention, sexually, put on her. And when I come back, everyone's just going to town and I'm just standing in the doorway.”
A & C: *riff riff*